Parenting

To Whom It May Concern:

I just wanted to comment on the Millie Lewis Letter #4 written by R.Z. in Sioux Falls S.D.

I don't mean to pick apart your letter, but I feel that your mother agency is not to blame for your bad experience.

Your daughter talks about wanting to be the next pop star, as all kids do. But you live in Sioux Falls, S.D. This is not the best place in the world to start a child's modeling, acting, or entertainment career.

I believe this is a true statement not meant to offend anyone from Sioux Falls —if you have been to Sioux Falls —you would understand why I say this.

So you heard this model search on the radio, your daughter bugs you to go (as all kids do), so you go; your daughter gets picked, you were flattered; and you sign her up.

I think it is the lack of your education or ignorance in this industry that led to the events that made you have a bad experience and very unhappy.

They supplied the 24 hours of educational training (at least I counted 24 hours plus a photo shoot). You then chose to miss educational trainings on March 23 (5 hours) and June 22 (5 hours). This is 10 hours of training you chose to miss, almost 1/2.

If you would have made it to all 24 hours, maybe unfortunate things would not have taken place like missing the call back day.

I don't know how much you spent for all this, but I gather it was a lot for you to spend. Why did you not make this a priority for you and your daughter if it cost so much?

It sounds like this was not the right time for you to make such a big commitment to your daughter's passion in life (if it is; this I don't know).

On the subject of hidden cost, when is there not a hidden cost in everything we do with our children?

They look at you with their big brown eyes, and ask to be in soccer, so you sign them up, knowing that it will help they develop skills, such as working as part of a team, hand-eye-feet coordination, having something to build their character around, or just something they can enjoy.

Oh yeah, but then there is the cost of new soccer shoes, or shin guards, and then the soccer uniform. Driving back and forth from games, and even the doctor's bills when they sprain their ankle.

Oh, and the personal coaching lessons if it's something they really enjoy.

Hidden costs: we all know they are there.

This may be a poor example to some people, but I guess it's one to which I can relate since my son was in soccer.

Every parent goes through it as it is all part of the learning experience we get to go through. :)

On the subject of photo shoots... you should have said something. Once again I get the feeling that $400 was a lot in your eyes, so why not speak up?

Maybe your director could explain to you why the pictures were the way they were.

There are so many fads these days, and parents don't always like them, but that is your director's job to know what is cool and what is hip.

I don't believe AMTC would work with your director if she did not do a good job. If she felt your pictures were not suitable for your daughter, then she probably would have pointed it out.

Your director does not want to look silly, either. No one wants to look silly when doing their job.

I feel that speaking up may have helped you out, and get some answers to your frustration.

You many be frustrated and disappointed, but the last thing you should feel is taken advantage of.

I really feel bad for R.Z. No one likes to travel half way across the U.S. only to have a bad experience! But was this for you or your daughter? I believe it was for your daughter.

You stated that your daughter did have fun and learned some things. Well, is that not what matters the most?

When she was looking at you with her big eyes, and asking, "Mom, can we please go to Florida?" you did it so she could have fun, learn some things, and because you love her.

I think you didn't educate yourself on your daughter's hobby enough before getting her into it. As parents do this we look at others to blame; at the same time, we hate being wrong! I know: I have done it many times.

You even stated they were nice people. I just think you may be disappointed that this time around your daughter was not picked as the next pop star... It happens to all of us proud parents.

S.